Forgiveness and Trust Have This One Thing In Common…

Forgiveness: one of the greatest gifts we can ever give ourselves. When we forgive someone who has wronged us, we break the chains that bind us to the past—which ultimately sets us free from grudges, hostility, and stress. Once we have forgiven, does that mean we must trust them again? Or that we are required to?

Let’s look at the definition of what it means to forgive. According Merriam-Webster, to forgive means “to cease to feel resentment against an offender.” While forgiveness means different things for each us, it ultimately is essential for our health. Releasing resentment can be a difficult task, I understand—but it is vital. Although going through this process of forgiveness and letting go of all resentment may seem as though you are being too easy on them or that you are pushing away your negative feelings, know that you aren’t. Forgiving someone does not condone their negative behavior, and it doesn’t mean forgetting the painful event took place. Forgiveness is a process; a process that everyone is more than capable of going through and coming out stronger from. (More on – steps to reach forgives in another article)

Now, let’s look at the word “trust.” To have trust means to have a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. It is important to understand that there are different levels of trusts—and whichever type of trust you possess depends on whom you are socializing with. To understand this, think of the trust you have with your spouse, partner, or friend versus the trust you have with a co-worker. They’re different, right? Now that we have established what forgiveness and trust means, lets get into the juxtaposition between them, and see just how closely they are linked.

While trust and forgiveness mean two different things, it is important to know that with relationships, both are crucial factors in having a healthy one. However, with all differences aside, did you know these two things do share one thing in common?

It was during my own experience of forgiving someone that I suddenly had the realization that the forgiveness was for me, not for them. The grace that I had been granted from seizing forgiveness finally allowed me to escape the bondage of the pain I felt so deeply in my daily life. For many, obtaining this freedom can take years. It did for me. But in retrospect, waiting and pushing through that process gave me everything I needed and more.

We all understand that trust is something that must be earned. The first quote that comes to my mind when I think of the process of trust is by Dhar Mann. He states “{t}rust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.” What is this quote essentially saying? TIME. Trust takes time. Forgiveness takes time. That is how these words are truly so connected. If you are in the process of forgiving someone whom you have trusted, you must allow yourself the time you need to grieve. You must allow yourself the time to simply feel your emotions, no matter what they are. You just cannot properly heal, grow, or develop without taking the time to work on it. Your feelings cannot be ignored—and time alone will not make them disappear.

Take back your power. You will feel free again. You deserve that.